Unbiased Reasons to Hire Me

Mouths to feed

My cat screams for wet food in the soprano range. [Pictured here between screams.]

I never cottoned to the wet food myself, so I’m forced to buy separate food entirely. With two mouths to feed, two types of food to buy, and innumerable high-pitched screams, I’m highly motivated to be gainfully employed and to become indispensable.

Hard worker

I should have named this website “Busy Little Bee,” but we’re past that point and I’m too lazy busy to change it now.

(I work hard at every job and would be thrilled to provide references who can speak to my performance and work ethic. I’m too shy to boast. Anyway, the graphic I chose is a representation of my exceptional stamina and fortitude, the amazing results I yield, how I forge ahead despite heavy burdens, etc. etc.)

Curious person

I’m eager to learn new systems, more information, different ways of working, better methods of communication…

I chase after knowledge, although it tries to elude me. Nice try, knowledge! I found you once in the form of, “Give geese a wide berth,” and I’ll find you again.

And on top of all that, I’ve got one hell of a padfolio.